In third place (and loving it)

For the past month, I have listened to some powerful conversations taking place all around me. The range of topics spans remarkable breadths — everything from burning bushes to bus rapid transit.

One factor that made these conversations exceptional was the eclectic variety of folks engaged in the talking — young, old, black, white, men, women, city folk and county folk. How did this come to happen? How do we make space to engage in important conversations? And where do we find the room to listen?

You may think it depends on the presenting issue. And I’ll agree that an issue is a first factor of engagement. But next, it becomes a question of space — head space, heart space, and, finally, meeting space.

What does good listening space look like? Or feel like? It can happen in something called called “third place.”

Here’s how that’s defined in Wikipedia: “The third place (also known as third space) is a term used in the concept of community building to refer to social surroundings separate from the two usual social environments of home and the workplace.

“In his influential book The Great Good Place, Ray Oldenburg (1989, 1991) argues that third places are important for civil society, democracy, civic engagement, and establishing feelings of a sense of place.

“Oldenburg calls one’s ‘first place’ the home and those that one lives with. The ‘second place’ is the workplace — where people may actually spend most of their time. Third places, then, are ‘anchors’ of community life and facilitate and foster broader, more creative interaction. All societies already have informal meeting places; what is new in modern times is the intentionality of seeking them out as vital to current societal needs.

“Oldenburg suggests the following hallmarks of a true ‘third place’: Free or inexpensive | Food and drink, while not essential, are important | Highly accessible: proximate for many (walking distance) | Involve regulars – those who habitually congregate there | Welcoming and comfortable | Both new friends and old should be found there.”

Some of these attributes are the hallmarks of monastic hospitality. Most of them are covered in our Rule of Life here at Richmond Hill.

Come up, come in, say a prayer, have a cup of coffee. Slip into third place. And let’s talk about transforming this metropolitan City of ours.

Richard Rumble
April 2013